Open Letter 6: Washrooms and Cupboards

A take on washrooms and cupboards, this time with inputs from Raj Dasani

The other day, I just came home and then I went to wash my face and hands just before I would have my dinner. It was around 8 pm. I entered the washroom and started washing my hands and put the face wash on my face. Before I realized it, I was mid-way through the brushing process. I had no idea when I started brushing my teeth or switched from washing my face to brushing my teeth. Actually, it is my habit to put face wash on the face and let it be for the time while I brush my teeth and then rinse it off. I did not know I was following this automatic process. My brain was thinking about a thousand things happening in my life from the increase in Petrol prices that made me rethink about choosing to switch back to scooter from cycle and whether to write the next letter on Bathrooms or not.

And then it stuck to me. Everyone gets so many brilliant thoughts and ideas in that little space called Washroom. It is better if it is your own but the thought evoking power does not decrease. The shower becomes a brainstorming session. Unless you are me and you have forgotten to switch off the geyser. Jalti jwala.

But why does everyone have that Eureka moment in the four walls that would echo yours and my besura singing? It does not have anything special. You are alone in that room. It turns out, that bathroom is the only space that we have in our life in which we get our private space. This is so common in a country like ours that we either do not have personal space or we cannot afford it. In other news, Mumbai has started 2.25 BHK flats too. They might offer underwater huts also now I guess. For 1 crore, of course.

Then, the bathroom becomes a no disturbance space for everyone. You do not have the mobile phone that you need to check your WhatsApp or answer that for a loan call. Vodafone users do not have either anyway. Lucky people. You do not have to pretend to smile at your boss even when he gives you unwanted work. Basically, you are you without any pretence or mask. It is a space where you are vulnerable and naked, in every possible manner. People cry, laugh, shout, break things, try to cut water, and pretty much do everything they want to. And just when they are in this no pretense and all natural zone, the brain has the freedom to ponder whatever it wants to, be it why the best friend is behaving weirdly to what would happen if plants got some weirdass laser powers someday. In fact, most people would not feel the same comfort if the washroom is changed even a bit, forget considering any other bathroom at all! 

It all boils down to the element of personal space. A space that is precious and conducive to self-growth. No wonder that most of the hotels are rated based on how clean, well designed, and good their washrooms are. Of course, mobile phones have invaded every aspect of our life and washrooms are no different. Phone invasion for life! The wonder of the washroom is that you can have it the way you want and probably no one would bother it. Also, the washrooms are reserved for the people that you trust the most to use on a daily basis. It is family. Those are also the people that you would let in the washroom if any mishap happens. That is the frame of our brain. People enter only if you allow them to.  They can see the things that you allow and can help you if needed. But what if you want something that balances finely between a perfectly private space to something you can show off if you want?

No wonder that is why when someone from the LGBTQ+ community comes out, it is also called coming out of the closet. In fact, several names and usernames that are allies of the community have named themselves in a similar way. One such example is Almaarii. The idea of keeping to oneself and staying closed comes from the very structure of a cupboard. They come out and stop pretending to be someone they are not, just like Gibran’s parable Madman!

That is your cupboard. Washrooms are small spaces made for spending time while cupboards are a place you store your things. Mostly, things that are precious to you and you would need them in everyday life. Washrooms are closed rooms and in a definite design. Cupboards? They have no limit when it comes to design. It can be a transparent glass design that would allow you to see through and notice the contents. There are steel ones that are a pain in the ass to handle. Sometimes, quite literally too. Then there are nicely furnished and polished wooden cupboards that would add beauty to the room.


I guess mine are these wooden beauties. I have different cupboards for different purposes. They are small though. One has clothes and some really precious things. One has all the things that I love but people would know about it. That would be my camera bag, camera accessories, and keyboard. Then there are bags and bills in it. The cupboard with clothes has a drawer that has the most precious things to me. It has a folder of letters I have written and received to and from various people. No one has read them except me and the intended recipient.

That is the thing. I can ask someone to fetch me a book from the last book cupboard I have or pass on the camera accessory because I can guide them to it and the things are more or less replaceable. This is how trust works for me. Most of the things are very easy for me. I would not mind sharing most of the things. Things that are so easy to do like clothes or some of the books. Of course, there are terms and conditions that are attached to it but I would only give the terms and conditions to those who have passed the basic criteria for me. The drawer of precious letters? No. That is a secret. Just like my bank pin which is 02322. :p

So why did I talk about these parts of the house interior? I think our brain is like a room. No one can really know where you kept something and where it lies. Sometimes, you would never realize that you had something in your cupboard and it always was with you. That is the wonder that you would discover if you share the cupboard. You do need to allow someone to visit you even in the washroom when you are injured or in danger. You need to allow a person to access your cupboard to fetch something that you want. In fact, cupboards are just like friends. You can have different cupboards to keep different things! It can also be a professionally trained person or a person from any walk of your life that you trust enough. That would make a lot of difference.

I often keep things a certain way and when my mom comes and keeps the clothes in the cupboard, she messes up the order. I like to divide and categorise the clothes by their style. Full sleeves in a pile, pants in a pile, half sleeve T-shirts in a pile, and trousers and shirts have their respective pile. Mom puts half sleeve T-shirts with full sleeves. Pants on the t-shirt column, and everything that seems chaotic to me.

However, when I do not find a cloth, she can spot it in a jiffy in the cupboard because she has organized it differently. Sometimes, all you need is a new form of organization in your cupboard or brain that would make things feel so much easier. Mom comes and arranges things in the room every day. If I make my room, things would be at very different places. But the point is that I do not have the urge to make my room as much as my mom has it. This can be true with your mind too. Sometimes, I have stayed in the room for hours and I do not even realize that it is a mess. It is only when mom comes and scolds or starts arranging it that I realize.

The point of this is, do not let your brain become so comfortable to a chaotic mind that you do not realize that you are brushing your teeth when you do not need to.  I believe that if we organize and arrange things, they become a lot easier. That can be as simple as finding a cloth in the cupboard or giving the liberty to a person to enter the washroom when you are injured or if you are too excited and in love, let your partner in to do whatever you want to. Maybe clean the washroom, who knows? :P

It is not essential to know what is where and how you can solve shit or get things done. It is essential to know who is the best person to get it done or solve the problem. Is it something you can handle yourself with ease and without any harm or pressure or do you need an expert or a trusted person?

Solve this with a bit of planning and improvisation. Lo, you have a plan of life ready. And remember, be like batman. Prepared to fight contingencies and even accept major mistakes like killing Robin. And of course, there would be scarecrows and riddlers in your life. The question is, is your bag equipped enough to tackle these or do you know where you can get the equipment to tackle them?

That is all. Do become the dark knight and defeat the demons in you. Also, feel free to approach someone to pick up your bag when you can not lift it. Remember Adnan Sami? Thodi si to lift kara de? He asked that to God and in some years, God lifted his fats.

I hope you had fun reading this open letter. Interestingly, I and Raj also made a podcast on the same topic. Do give it a listen. There might be some technical glitches for sure, but you would get an unfiltered and open me and some really interesting insights from Raj! Also, your feedback would mean the world to us so do spill your heart about this to me or Raj!

Here is the comic for this issue-

Follow the artist on Instagram-

https://www.instagram.com/mozgitreski/



Song -

You do need to let someone in at times to see the magic of a refreshing splash! Go and be vulnerable!

Chalo, have a great week that is full of fun or things you like! Oh wait, it is mid-week already, just like how it is mid-year. But time is an artificial construct anyway. Do not worry about it.

Until next time,

Take care and stay Hydrated.

Tada!